Saying Stuff Wrong

"Use what language you will,
you can never say anything but what you are."
               Ralph Waldo Emerson

A long while ago a FB friend posted an article called "10 Words That You Mispronounce That Make People Think You're an IDIOT" by Justin Brown for Primer. I delight in lists like this, but not necessarily in the way the author delighted in writing his article to proclaim his superiority over all people who have dialects that aren't his own.

Don't get me wrong, I will usually do whatever I can to assert my superiority over other people, but it's mostly in a backdoor way with sarcasm and jokes. That way not everyone catches on that they are my inferior and they can maintain their self-esteem without me losing dominance and power. Kidding. Mostly. But in the interest of full disclosure, I admit that I used to be more like Mr. Brown. I used to feel angry at people who said things "wrong"; I used to feel smug and superior that I "knew better" and was therefore "smarter" than they were. Oh, me.

Hello, my name is Martha, and I'm a recovering language snob.

The most glaring problem Mr. Brown seems to have is that he does not take into account dialects, idiolects, and language development, not to mention the perfectly explainable linguistic reasons why some of these innocent pronunciation mistakes happen. For example, cochlear is about the only word in English that is structured like nuclear, and the consonant cluster in this setting is on the difficult side for an English speaker. The simple fact is that it's much easier to physically articulate noo-cue-lar, so it's a rather easy pronunciation mistake to make and adopt, especially within certain English dialects.

Sure, some things are out and out mistakes. Many people say things they've only heard and have not seen in writing (I'm looking at you girl in high school who said ackleast [at least] and the Entire State Building [Empire State Building]), and sure, it's hard not to scoff a little (or a lot) at those mistakes. But why do we have to get our knickers in a twist over it? Can't we just politely correct or teach people (only when appropriate) and move on? Do we have to be insulting and dictatorial? Can't we all just get along?

The hard fact is that there are awful biases against some dialects, and people often feel compelled to change their dialects to find success in their careers. This world and the lives we lead are hard enough, so it's kind of terrible that so many feel shame about how they have been raised to speak. After all, each of us were raised speaking a dialect that clearly communicates and is valid within our varying speech communities. (I'm sorry mom and dad for gibing you about your Canadianisms and your ruralisms, respectively.) 

I'm not saying that we should throw out all rules and standards in language, in fact I think they hold a heavier importance in written communication, but maybe we could all relax a little and enjoy the variety and differences that language adds to our own unique personages. To me the best part about English is that it's especially malleable. We have a lot of language options that do nothing to disrupt clear communication. Meaning that we have borrowed so much structure and words from other languages that we generally have more creative ways of expressing ourselves and playing with language than so many other languages. So work with it, love it.

In the end I wouldn't have minded Mr. Brown's list if I believed he truly wanted to educate people. Instead he's borderline to actually insulting in his attempt to shame people into his ideal. 

P.S. I don't think I've heard anyone say prerogative the way Mr. Brown prescribes. Bobby Brown might 100% culpable.