Either I'm a Jerk or a Character Actor In Training

Lionel Barrymore's face in It's a Wonderful Life. 

In past few years I've realized that I was born an 85-year-old curmudgeon. The more I think of the stereotypes for the crotchety among the elderly, the more proof that I have that I would make an amazing cantankerous elderly character actor...if I wasn't in my 30s. Let's look at some examples:

• I do not like the company of children. I believe that they should only be seen or heard in controlled environments, like on TV or in the movies.
• I get annoyed when children play in the snow because it ruins the lovely view of a smooth snowscape.
• I cannot stand when people walk on the grass unless they are in a park or their own yard.
• I like cats. (Which has nothing to do with being a curmudgeon, but points to me becoming a crabby old cat lady, which seems to be socially worse that just a crabby old lady.)
• I cannot abide loud and/or bass heavy music.
• I cringe at those who yell instead of speak to communicate in public places. This includes talking on cell phones in public places.
• I am always right, especially when I figure out I'm on the wrong side of the argument.

But since I am in my 30s, this list makes me look like an uptight jerk instead of a curmudgeon you make excuses for because they are old and have "earned it." But I'm not just crotchety, I'm also a genius. I can work with what I have. If I keep cultivating these...quirks, I can call it job research in the effort to eventually become that cantankerous character actor. And it will be the easiest job in the world, because I will just be who I am. See? Genius.

Oscar Observations

In no particular order:

1. Justin Bieber cameo: Love him or hate him (I'm indifferent), his cameo was funny.
2. The grand art deco set.

3. Cirque de Soleil performance. 

4. Refreshingly Anne Hathaway free! 

5. Will Ferrel and Zach Galifianakis' cymbal bit. It was silly, but effective.

6. James Earl Jones accepting his Oscar on the stage in London.

7. Billy Crystal reading minds. "Billy didn't tell me he was filming that kiss," and Nick Nolte grunts.

8. Emma Stone's bit with first-time-Oscars excitement. Ben Stiller really did seem annoyed.

9. Fast forwarded through 98% of the speeches.

10. A powder blue tux on Oscar night. (Thanks, Carl Swebo!)

11. The Scorsese drinking game with Melissa McCarthy and Rose Bryne. Scorsese!

12. Christian Bale's true accent.

13. Jean Dujardin wins! Formidable!
14. (But I was kinda hoping Gary Oldman would win.)

15. In the videos, didn't Tom Cruise look like he just got him some fresh botox?

16. Um, Bret McKenzie just won an Oscar.
17. Nick Nolte looks like Anthony Hopkins.

18. I wish someone was assigned to straighten all the men's bow ties, both on the red carpet and before they came out on stage.

19. Christopher Plummer becomes the oldest person to win an Oscar.

20. Reese Witherspoon extolling the virtues of Overboard.

21. Did The Artist really win?! Huzzah!

22. Angelina Jolie looks more and more like a vulgar Maria Schriver. Or Skelator.

Red Carpet Review: Oscars 2012

I would like to create a new pre-Oscars red carpet show. Picture this: a producer off camera would ask a celebrity who they are wearing; someone would type this information into a computer; the celebrity  stands and poses for a moment so two cameras could film the front and back of the dress/tuxedo; the designer information would appear on the screen simultaneously; everyone could see the fashions and no one would have to hear a "personality" ask inane questions that elicit equally inane answers. We could see so many more fashions in so little time and it would be great. (Rant complete.)

If I talked about all the fashions I wanted to, this post would get crazy long, so here's a synopsis of what I saw on the red carpet.

Trends!
There were several dresses in a buff to ever-so-slightly pink neutral color walking down the red carpet as well as several all-over sequin gowns. There were also several dresses in shades of blue and a few in shades of red.

Best!
Emma Stone looked fantastic in Giambattista Valli. Beautiful in color, fabric, and simple silhouette. Not everyone could pull off a giant puffy bow at the neckline, but Ms. Stone wore it gracefully.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I loved Gwenyth Paltrow's all white look by Tom Ford. At first I was leery of the cape, but there really was something regal and polished about it. Without the cape, the dress was simple, flattering, and stunning. It was too bad her hair looked terrible.

The fabric was the star of Penelope Cruz's Armani Prive gown; it moved so elegantly. Plus the slate color popped nicely on the red carpet. I wasn't crazy about her hair, there was something a little off, but overall she looked stunning.

Worst! 
Rooney Mara's Givenchy dress was a sad and droopy. The flanges on the bust frankly made her breasts look long, which throws the proportions of the silhouette. However, I though her styling was fantastic. Her delicate features, fair skin, red lipstick, and severe hair makes her look like a 60s French ballerina.

Jennifer Lopez's dress was just...odd. I didn't understand it. The sleeve cutouts and junior-high-student-length sleeves gave a trashy feeling to the dress.

Colin Firth's wife, Liria Giuggioli, looked matronly in her modernized crumb-catcher bodice. It had the same effect as Mara Rooney's dresses, making this beautiful Italian woman look droopy and ill proportioned on top.

Man Trend!
A lot of men were wearing a larger, almost 70s butterfly bow tie (as seen above on Colin Firth), but I don't think anyone went over-the-top with it. There were also a nice number of white, peek-a-boo pocket squares, but I think Tom Cruise might have done it best.

Worth Mentioning!
Berenice Bejo in sea foam sequins.

Ellie Kemper in bronze sequins.

Nina Garcia with a modernized stomacher.

Stay tunned for my Oscars highlights post.

Write More Good by The Bureau Chiefs

Write More Good: An Absolutely Phony Guide by The Bureau Chiefs
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I went into my first tweet book, Write More Good by The Bureau Chiefs (aka @FakeAPStylebook), with the expectation of giggles and light entertainment brought on by clever observations about the sometimes ridiculousness of English structure, grammar, and mechanics. After all I follow @FakeAPStylebook on Twitter and I find their tweets generally delightful. But what I got was tired rants disguised in already worn-thin novelty that led to a boring book that I couldn't finish reading. I concluded that the problem, which I imagine to be the same with all tweet books, is that while flashes of brilliance can come easily 140 characters at a time, a whole book of that same "brilliance" becomes repetitive and dull.

The Commonly Confused Words section in the chapter "Punctuation and Grammar: LOL" was my favorite section in the book, but it wasn't more than three pages long. There were some hilarious example sentences and some great new confused words thrown in for good measure. (i.e. jam, jamb, jambone and night, knight, Knight Rider)

Just like in any Twitter feed, there are moments of hilarity in Write More Good. But is it worth reading every tweet in your feed to make sure you find every entertaining nugget? Probably not.


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Project Runway: All Stars: Flags of the United Nations

I have decided that I do not like Angela as a host. There's nothing terribly offensive about her, but she's so unnatural on screen. Instead of projecting with normal intonation, she starts speaking in a loud monotone and it grates on my nerves. Petty? Maybe. But if you're talking a lot on TV, your voice should not be hard on the ears.

Moving on.

Is it just me or were the designs this challenge uninspired and drear? It seems to me that one would be steeped in inspiration when considering not only a country's flag, but its history and culture as well. In fairness, with a time-crunch it would be easy to fall into the trap of cliché and stereotypes. (I'm looking at you Jerell and Michael.) But the fact remains that not one of the designs made me sit up and say "boy-howdy"!

Mondo's was the best this week with his Jamaican flag inspiration, so his win was deserved. (At the moment I can't think of a harder dress to wear, but when has runway fashion ever been about wearability?) I disagreed with Isaac's opinion that the geometric strap down the back "ruined" the dress by being too literal. If Mondo had presented this dress outside of the flag inspiration, I don't think that would have been an issue at all. If anything "ruined" the dress, it was the styling. It's time for me to admit to the hard fact that although Mondo is a great designer, he can't style worth beans. His clothes speak volumes so he doesn't need heavy styling, and I wish someone could pull him aside and explain that to him. (Side note: Mondo's own hair was so fantastic this episode.)

As a point of interest I looked up guest judge Catherine Maladrino's American flag dress, and what is it if not literal with a pretty flowing fabric and a nice cut? (Apparently celebrities and socialites wore it to express patriotism after 9/11, but I don't recall seeing it before now.)

I didn't hate Kenley's Chilean flag dress, I just didn't see what it had to do with the challenge. Sure, she used the colors in the flag, but I didn't and don't get "Chile" from that dress. She gave some explanation about current street-style in Chile (which I'm sure she hasn't researched), but I think it was mostly a cover story for her penchant for sameness in her designs. I was happy that Isaac called her out on that issue. Let me be clear, I don't think Kenley is a terrible designer, but an obnoxious one whose inspiration is so narrow that it ends up doing her a disservice.

Michael rounded out the top three with his Greece flag dress. Everything that the judges said about this dress was true. It was too low and wide in the back opening, it was borderline pageant, and it had too much fullness in the draping. However, it was a nice enough dress. The white sequined trim was gorgeous.

I was shocked Jerell didn't go home with his mess of an Indian flag dress. The judges thought he had some good but unrefined ideas in the jumble, but I didn't see it. Anything he did have going for him was nulled by that overly blousy, green sari sash. There was nothing flattering about it. That green shade was a little sad and dusty for India as well. 

Austin, oh Austin. I like him so much, but the more I'm exposed to his aesthetic and designs, the less talented I think he is. Not only did his dress look tortured and overwrought, but the color palette was too dusty for his Seychelles flag inspiration. His styling is really always about the old lady look. In the end I thought his design looked more inspired by the grecian urn scene in The Music Man.

Mila went home this week with her Papua New Guinea design. She kept referencing "freedom" in the episode, but freedom certainly didn't come across in her finished design. Jerell was right saying that the dress looked more inspired by communism, especially when you consider the styling. Mila suffers the same malady is Kenley, meaning that Mila's narrow focus on color blocking and geometrics often does her a disservice. I will say this, Mila's construction skills are fantastic. Her garment looked sharp and polished as far as construction goes.

Favorite quotes:

"This isn't 'Greased Lightning,' this is more Greece frightening." Mondo about Michael's dress.

"I could feel his suffering in the workroom." Georgina Chapman talking about how tortured Austin's dress looked.

A Season of Gifts by Richard Peck

A Season of Gifts by Richard Peck
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I like to read YA fiction. Correction, I like to read anything that is well-written. Richard Peck is one of the good guys. What makes Peck's a delightful writer are his full and fascinating characters and his healthy sense of humor. In this instance, he also takes full advantage of the colloquialism and idioms from the rural Illinois setting, which adds loads of charm to his characters. A Season of Gifts is part of a companion series that includes A Long Way From Chicago and A Year Down Yonder.

All three books center around an eccentric, old, salt-of-the earth woman named Mrs. Alice Dowdel and the children who become part of her life. (The books cover a swath of time from about 1930 to 1955.) She is no-nonsense and she intimidates everyone enough that they assume she wants to be left alone, but the truth is she's as kind and generous a person as you'll ever meet. Fourteen-year-old Bob Barnhart narrates A Season of Gifts, which begins with his family moving next door to Mrs. Dowdel. At first the Barnhart family keeps their distance from Mrs. Dowdel, but bit by bit she becomes a co-conspirator with Mrs. Barnhart, a patron to Mr. Barnhart, a teacher to sixteen-year-old Phyllis, a role-model to six-year-old Ruth Ann, and a savior to Bob.

I recommend A Season of Gifts for a fast and easy, palate-cleansing read. (Meaning sometimes I like to read light and easy stuff between my darker reads.)

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The Secret World of Arrietty, Hayao Miyazaki, and Ghibli Studios

Have you ever heard of Hayao Miyazaki or Ghibli Studios? Well, let me give you the dirt, because believe me, you'll want to know. Ghibli Studios was co-founded by an adorable and hugely imaginative Japanese man named Hayao Miyazaki. Miyazaki and Ghibli create traditionally animated movies that are beautiful in visuals and in content. Most people I talk to have at least heard about his Academy Award winning movie, Spirited Away, but they are unaware of the rest of his delightful filmography.

Hayao Miyazaki, adorable animator.

My first Miyazaki was My Neighbor Totoro, and I was immediately hooked. It's about a little girl who is dealing with a new house and the emotional strain of a mother who is in the hospital, but she finds distraction and comfort with Totoro, a big creature that lives in the forrest.

My Neighbor Totoro

Luckily my sister had already started collecting Miyazaki films, so in quick succession I watched Castle in the Sky, The Cat Returns, and Kiki's Delivery Service. Over the years Miyazaki films have become more popular in America, which led to celebrities lending their voices to the American releases (Billy Crystal, Christian Bale, Tina Fey, Kirsten Dunst, Anna Paquin, Cary Elwes, to name a few), and a partnership with Disney for distribution.

All of the Miyazaki movies I have seen are full of whimsey and charm. They are not typically action-packed, but the animation is a detailed visual feast, and Miyazaki often deals with complex emotions and situations as seen from the viewpoint of a child. Basically they are the "art films" of animation.

Tonight I saw The Secret World of Arrietty, Studio Ghibli's newest release, and it stayed true to Miyazaki's general filmography. (Miyazaki usually writes and directs his movies, but he only wrote the script for Arrietty.) Arrietty is based on The Borrowers books by British author Mary Norton. The Borrowers are tiny people that live in the nooks and crannies of the houses of regular-sized people, or "human beans." They "borrow" things the Beans won't miss, like lumps of sugar or a piece of tissue. But if Borrowers are seen by a Bean, they must pack up and move, because the Beans become too curious and always end up destroying the Borrowers. The movie was whimsical, adventurous, and thoughtful, with great character arcs. It also includes the voices of Carol Burnett, Amy Poehler, and Will Arnett. (And yes, Poehler and Arnett voice a married couple!) I highly recommend this movie, and I hope you will enjoy Miyazaki as much as I have.

P.S. If you like the movie Dune, watch Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. I coincidentally watched those two movies in the same week, and the plot and style of each film is funnily similar.

Project Runway: All Stars: Broadway

I was engrossed in this week's episode. Not only do I have training in fashion design, but I also worked as a stitcher in a costume shop for three years to help put myself through a second round of college. I didn't design anything for the shop, that was reserved for students in the costume design program, but I did learn a lot about how clothes and fabrics work for the stage. So my creative mind was all abuzz during this episode.

Even though I've never seen Godspell, the criteria that was set out for the costume, based on staging and character, was quite clear. Since the character was being dressed on stage, separates were a must. The character was described as a wealthy and ostentatious woman who literally takes the clothes off of the backs of the poor to enhance and enrich and flaunt her wealth and appearance. This tells me that layers are also a must, and the the look should be eccentric. (It made me think of this incredible preview for an upcoming documentary.)

And who's better at eccentric than Mondo, this week's winner! The second his model stepped out on the runway my brain said, "That is stage-ready." I loved it. You can tell from the costume that the character is dark, eccentric, and concerned about their appearance. There's also plenty of shiny bits of fabric and jewelry to convey ostentatious wealth. I particularly liked the ties that trailed behind the model as she walked. For some reason those were the icing on the cake of the costume for me. Plus Mondo's styling, which has been off the past few challenges, is spot on.

Austin's design was also completely appropriate for the challenge. I adore that brocade he used. (I thought it would have looked great as a corset for this challenge.) His design also looks as though it came from different sources, but it all works together, which is exactly what was prescribed for the character. It could have used more glittery additions. A legging with a wee bit of sparkle and a few rhinestones sprinkled through the fur would and a richness that would read well from stage. (I'm not a shiny, glitzy person, but it really can change a costume to a wow on the stage.)

Michael rounded out the top three. While his design was good, it was more appropriate for regular fashion and not for this challenge. Costumes often push boundaries that don't really fly in everyday fashion; bold strokes are needed to make ideas read from the stage. I love the idea of that skirt and the fabric in the top is glorious.

Mila's outfit was horrific. The proportions were completely wrong and the model looked bulky on top and skimpy on the bottom. Sutton Foster (Thoroughly Modern Millie, Little Women) had it right when she suggested Mila's model looked like a prostitute. I didn't understand any of the design, from the fabric choice to silhouette choice.

Kenley's outfit looked so cheap, from fabric to design. The judged oohed over the cut of the jacket, but it was nothing special. The outfit looks like a little girl playing dress-up rather than a woman who flaunts her ill-gotten wealth. It looks like student work.

Kara went home this week. The thing is, I think her ideas were in the right place, but they were a) not executed properly; and b) did not push far enough. I thought it was a great idea to have lots and lots of pieces that the character keeps stacking on her body, kind of like a bag lady with access to couture fashion. But none of the fabrics looked rich enough and Kara should have pushed each piece of the design to be more grandiose and flashy.

Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!: The NPR News Quiz

Here are two facts about me: One, I love much of NPR's programming, from This American Life to Car Talk to A Way With Words to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me. Two, I have an NPR radio crush on Carl Kasell. Yes, I have a crush on a 78 year old, recently retired radio news broadcaster. I mean, look at him.

Last night two of my loves came together when I got to see Mr. Kasell on stage at a live taping for Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me in Salt Lake City. (It's a panel news quiz show that is hysterical, and Mr. Kasell is their regular scorekeeper and moderater). It was fun and funny and exciting! Dreams do come true, Internet.

Our seats were on the third balcony, about 4 rows up from the back of the theater. My point and shoot camera almost got some really good pictures. Here is the cast, from left to right: Carl Kasell, Peter Sagal (host), Mo Rocca (not pictured, he had to catch a flight right after taping), Kyrie O'Connor, and Peter Grosz. All the people in the back are the producers and tech people.

And here is my Mr. Kasell during the Q&A after the show, in grainy glory. When he first came onto the stage he did this little high-knee run and kind of boogied across the stage. Delightful!

Next time I will spring for better seats. I want to see the sweat on their upper lips. If you have never listened to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me, you are in for a real treat. The weekly podcast is available free on iTunes.