Project Runway: All Stars: Gelato

This week our fearless band of contestants were challenged to make a dress inspired by the taste and color of specific gelato flavors. But wait, there's more! They also had to make said runway-ready dress in SIX hours. That is intense. I can sew quickly, but this time frame is panic-inducing. And if the time contraints weren't enough, Diane von Furstenberg was a guest judge. She's kind of a big deal. All you had to do was look at Michael's face to understand how big a deal. (I about died on behalf of Michael when Diane von Furstenberg told him to call her after the show!)  Frankly I was surprised there wasn't more short-fuses or injuries on this challenge. We only saw one quite deadly evil-eye from Austin when he busted Kara "quickly" sewing one thing on the machine he was using.

Bonus: awesome color coordination.

Speaking of Austin, what in the world was he wearing? I'll tell you what he was wearing: an A top with light-wash 90s jeans. What the what? Fashion-wise I can't think of anything good or lasting that came out the 90s, and bringing it back is like stubbing your toe on the shabby chic dresser you wish you never bought. Yikes. But his dress was lovely enough if not a tad on the "vanilla" side. I mean, he picked Vanilla Madagascar, so that's what we got —vanilla.

The judges top two were my top two as well: Michael with Grapefruit and Mondo with Cantaloupe. I'm still waffling over which one was my favorite.

Michael's dress was so beautifully draped and it looked like a billowy dream coming down the runway, but it lost a bit of it's magic when the model was standing still. The built in mini belt at the front was a genius move to increase the wearability of the dress. I loved the effortlessness of the look. I was utterly confused when Isaac said, "There's something about it that is just too on the nose." What does that even mean? Does he not want the designers to make beautiful things that meet all aspects of the challenge?

Mondo's dress had this non-obvious but literal concept or representing an actual cantaloupe. He's so great with color, and the dress had beautiful movement. Because of the loose nature of the silhouette Mondo's dress had the potential to look baggy and frumpy. But it was surprisingly slenderizing because of the way he cleverly blocked the color. Ok, so Mondo's was my favorite. Additionally Mondo's hair looked particularly great this episode, and his pseudo Daisy Mae outfit was hilarious.

I'm glad that April went home with her Blueberry dres. Her designs in her regular season were always on the edge of being a hot mess and All Stars has been no different. If you can't even make an even hem you probably shouldn't be on Project Runway. Them's the breaks.

I'm surprised Rami wasn't in the bottom three. His Kiwi dress (left) was entirely frightening and overwrought. It looks like overly kneaded dough. I would criticize anyone who wore it in public. In fact, the same goes for Anthony's Green Tea dress (right) as well.

The rest? Kenley made a Passion Fruit dress that looked like all her other dresses. It's sweet, but nothing new and nothing special; Jerell made a Fruits of the Forest dress that, as usual, I didn't understand; and Mila made a Milk with Sour Cherries dress that was styled with a too-heavy belt, but was Isaac's favorite. Meh.

Favorite quotes:
"It's so easy a chimpanzee could do it." Michael talking to Jerell about draping. Jerell's face was priceless.

"She looks like a pregnant cupcake." Jerell about Kara's Chocolate and Cayenne Pepper dress. Indeed, Jerell, indeed.

Project Runway: Miss Piggy

Yeah, yeah, this post is so late it's almost moot. But I still want to talk about it and sometimes family emergencies take precedence over sporadic blogging. Sometimes.

Let's get started. I had mixed feelings about Miss Piggy as a guest judge, and most of the feelings were not positive. The contestants kept talking about Miss Piggy being real person with tastes and feelings. But it's a muppet character. Controlled by a man. It was odd. It was also the first time I felt the show was highly scripted. I assume that these "reality" shows are scripted, but the lies are more condescending with an obvious script. I was particularly shocked when Joanna proclaimed that this was one of the "best challenges" Project Runway has ever had. Um, right. Don't get me wrong, I think that designing for Miss Piggy works as a PR challenge, but I didn't like the way they went about it.

The worst part is that it cues the audience that PR (and maybe even the design process itself) is a joke. As someone trained in fashion, this is disappointing and disheartening.

As far as the actual challenge goes, I think Rami should have won even though I didn't love his dress. His dress, like the character of Miss Piggy, was flashy, a little silly, and a little sophisticated with a nod to vintage fashion.

I did like Michael's dress; I certainly don't begrudge him his win. I've always liked those oversized and highly structured bows. They remind me of obis.

Kenley, oh Kenley. She's always making the same dress. I was mad that she was in the top three, because the construction of that bustier was abismal.

Mondo's performance was entirely disappointing. His dress was...okay I suppose, but the styling was so completely awful. And look how awkward his model is. But I realized this episode why Mondo never wins. He wants to avoid confrontation so much that he won't fight for himself. The pink glove battle royale is a small example, but I think it's indicative of the whole.

I can't believe Austin wasn't eliminated. His dress was off point, overwrought, and a little sad. But I'm glad he's still in the competition.

I'm sad Gordana got eliminated. She's probably the most down-to-earth, no-nonsense contestant. I didn't love her dress, but Kara's was much worse. I guess she thought Miss Piggy was getting a new character arc as a prostitute.

Favorite quote: "I always say being a lady never goes out of style." Indeed Anthony, indeed.