I need or want to go places at night, but I supremely hate
driving at night
Jar loosening purposes
Companionship
For the jokes (because he’d have to be funny)
Someone to frame for my crimes
Sexy times
Financial and tax purposes
Foot warmer on cold winter nights
To dress up him up like a doll…a manly, tailored doll
Travel buddy
For someone to look after my as yet non-existent cat when
I’m at work
To shut up the people who ask me why I’m not married
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